5 lessons learnt at the high-school reunion

I’ve just spent all weekend with 70 people who I last saw when we were 18 and leaving Year 12 to start ‘life’. 

We’re now 38-ish and immersed in it – not just the great bits that we envisaged as idealistic teens, but the tough stuff that comes at you out of left field, sucks the air out of your lungs and leaves you winded on the sidelines for a bit.

As a mum, there’s lots of advice that I want to give my daughters as they grow up: there will be times when things won’t go well, there will be wrong turns and lessons you’ll learn.    

Spending a morning with them yesterday back in my old school hallways, showing them where my friends and I occupied some of the most frivolous years of our lives - leaning against the lockers analysing first crushes and dreaming big - the memories rocketed back and (luckily for my girls), it wasn’t the experienced voice of adult reason that shouted loudest.

If my teenaged self could teach me 5 lessons now, here’s what she might say:

Tip #1 - Phone a friend 

Don’t text her, Facebook her or email her.  Phone her - like it’s 1989, and there’s no alternative but to glue yourself to the wall by the land-line and talk for ages. Hang out together.  Tell her everything.  She will get you through anything.

Tip #2 - Look in the mirror

What's happening in your life outside work and family? 

Who are you underneath those things? 

What sparks your interest? 

What do you love? 

What are you doing this weekend? 

What are you doing in the holidays?

Tip #3 - Sleep in.  Watch a movie.  Do your nails.

It can’t be all about everyone else all the time. 

Ask for help.  Take care of yourself. 

Dropping off your own list of priorities makes you cranky and boring and sets a bad example. 

Tip #4 - Lighten up

What happened to rolling around laughing, clutching your sides, tears streaming?  

Let go, relax and see the funny side. 

If you can’t think how, see Tip #1. 

Tip #5 - Reach for the stars 

Stop the negative mantra: ‘What if I fail?  What if it goes wrong?‘ 

Take a fresh perspective on the idea and ask this: what if it works?